Shoot Your Shot!
“Brie, just ask the question. The worse they can do is say no.”
“But, Ma… ‘no’ is pretty bad in and of itself.”
“’No’ scares you. That doesn’t make it bad; just not what you want to hear.”
This was one of my mom’s favorite things to say to me. What she didn’t understand was that I absolutely did not have the confidence for thought processes like this. I’ve always struggled with my self-esteem and confidence in my own abilities. Confidence with my skills, my appearance, my weight… you name it, I’ve got feelings about it.
Self-esteem is our evaluation of ourselves which is based on two things: 1) our personal perception of ourselves and 2) our perception of acceptance/rejection from those around us. Although we often use them interchangeably, self-esteem and self-confidence are a little different from one another.
Your self-esteem can impact how much confidence you have in your abilities. Low self-esteem can impact everything from the decisions you make to the opportunities you’ve missed. It’s hard for us to feel powerful enough to bring change in our lives and do the big things that we’re called to do if we don’t actually believe in ourselves.
Low self-esteem can even be connected to anxiety and depressive symptoms. How many opportunities have you passed up because you didn’t feel confident enough to shoot your shot? How many relationships never happened, promotions missed, opportunities to grow into your most authentic self all because of feeling unconfident?
Look, we have to do something about this. How do we begin to grow our confidence so that our self-esteem can get the boost that it truly needs? Check out the tips below:
Build your supportive tribe: Behind every confident person is a group of loving people, hyping them up to, “Just do it!” Find the friends, family, colleagues, sponsors, and mentors who always want to see you shine. They’ll help you when that doubt creeps in.
Don’t become a chameleon: You know how chameleon’s change with whatever environment they’re in? Sometimes, we do that. We change into whoever the room wants us to be in that moment and, as good as it may feel to be liked, it also damages our sense of self and has us question if the “real” version of ourselves is loveable. Be yourself.
Shoot your shot: Listen, ask for the raise. Invite them on the date. Check if you can get an invitation to the event. Ask them to share your info with other people. The worst they can say is no and we have to get comfortable taking “no” in stride.
What do you like about you?: Ask yourself this question and make a list. We often have trouble identifying what about ourselves we truly like. It’s much easier to say what we like about our friends, family…honestly, ANYONE but us! Take some time to focus on yourself.
Celebrate the small victories: We often overlook the daily wins because they aren’t the big wins we want. Acknowledging and even celebrating these wins helps show you that you are a powerful being who has their own strength.
We can’t focus on getting others to think the world of us. We can’t control people and when we let other folks opinions of us decide how we feel about us, we run the risk of tanking our self-esteem. Confidence is an inside job. Start reminding yourself of your power and what you’re capable of.