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  • Writer's pictureBrienne Jennings

"No Problem!"- Memoir of a People-Pleaser

People-pleasing is editing or altering words and behaviors for the sake of another person’s feelings or reactions (Raypole, 2019).

How do we develop it?

We usually learn people pleasing because it’s praised or as a way to help us maintain safety (physically, psychologically, and/or emotionally). What happens is, we grow up in environments where placating folks is praised and, “going against the grain,” is not acceptable. We agree with people, constantly keep the peace, and always do what we’re told and it’s consistently paired with praise, rewards, or safety, we start to fall into a people-pleasing pattern. People-pleasing can also be a trauma-response, also known as, “fawning,” where, to make sure that we aren’t harmed, we start people-pleasing for safety.